Prom dresses and Poverty

I like to spend my Thursday afternoons with Dr. Phil and Oprah in the TV lounge. Usually I bring my homework or catch up on e-mails or flitter an hour away on facebook while I watch. On this particular day, I witnessed the last 5 minutes of Dr. Phil. It was a typical show. Something about a rebellious teen and psychotic mother who had been with at least 15 men over the past five years and couldn’t quite pinpoint why her daughter was so promiscuous. Thankfully, Phil knows everything. So he set them straight and hooked them up with three guaranteed-to-fix-your-life therapy sessions. They’ll probably be okay, now. Oprah interviewed a 19 year-old boy who weighed almost 900 pounds. The bad news was, he could only get up to go to the bathroom and might not be around for his 20^th birthday party. The good news was, his mom served him hamburgers and nachos for lunch everyday and he had gotten really good at Mario Kart.

After Oprah put in her two cents about why the desire for cheese covered hot dogs is a deeply spiritual problem, the local news came on the screen. I watched it for a while, and I noticed a theme. It was obvious, really, and I’m sure you’ve noticed it too. The anchorwoman with teased blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes informed me that our economy is going down the toilet. Americans everywhere are struggling to keep their homes or sell their homes or heat their homes. Car companies are sinking while gas prices are skyrocketing. More layoffs are expected this week. And the only raises in our near future will be the dough that Uncle Sam demands. Ugh. Poor America.

I wasn’t feeling especially hopeful after my first few moments with the people at Channel 13. Then they did a special report. A cute, brunette reporter stood in the middle of the formalwear section at the mall, where a high school girl and her mom were shopping for a prom dress. Due to the struggling economy, the pair was looking for a stylish bargain. When the reporter interviewed the mother, she asked if they had set a price limit for the gown. The mom thought for a moment and then said, “Well, I am unemployed. And I’m trying to put myself through school. So yes, we have a limit. She will only be allowed to spend $150 on the dress.” My stomach sank. $150? For a dress? For one night? Is that really what economic struggle looks like in America? The reporter ended the interview with some shallow and cheesy line about how everyone is cutting back these days and how she is confident the poor little girl will have a nice night, despite her low-budget purchase. I thought I was going to be sick.

One month ago, I stayed in a Costa Rican home where having a fork for every person was a luxury. I met mothers who were desperate for me to snap a picture of their baby because it might be the only photo they ever have from their childhood. Members of our team shook hands with village leaders who begged for $140, the amount it takes to feed an entire village of school children their lunch for a year. And here was a story on the local news about the unfortunate Americans who are forced to scrimp and scrape and spend that same amount on a prom dress. Something didn’t seem right to me.

I think we have a wrong idea of what it means to “struggle.” I don’t want to be insensitive, because I know that there are Americans who are in desperate need. I know that there are hardworking dads who were laid off by no fault of their own. I know that there are small business owners who have done everything right, but can’t stay afloat in a stormy economy. I know that there are people losing their homes. I know that some families didn’t celebrate Christmas like they usually do. I know. But there is something wrong when we call ourselves poor, when we view ourselves as the victims, the bottom, or the most unfortunate. The truth is, we are incredibly blessed.

Struggle is not being forced to carry a Nokia instead of a Blackberry. Struggle is not selling your SUV for something with better gas mileage. Struggle is not clipping coupons to save money on Stouffers lasagna at the grocery store. Struggle is not buying a prom dress on sale. These things point to prosperity, not poverty. We are so fortunate to live in the United States. Not because we are the wealthiest nation in the world, but because we are in a position that allows us aid others. But too often, we look at ourselves. We think that our problems are the biggest, that our needs are the greatest.

We are mistaken if we think that we have a tough life. In truth, our “struggles” are equivalent to someone else’s luxury. Maybe if we changed our perspective and became sensitive to the reality of others, we would appreciate the little things in life. We wouldn’t feel so miserable about rising gas prices, because we have a car. We wouldn’t feel so frustrated by an unsold home, because we have a roof. Instead, we’d be grateful. That’s what I’m committing myself to; I want to be thankful for everything I have. I want to focus on the blessings in my life, not the needs.